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“I feel I can be myself in London”
Ayşe Zeynep Kamış, Undergraduate, Department of Bioengineering
Challenging tradition
I had a pretty typical upbringing and a regular childhood in Turkey. I’m from a more privileged community which was fairly liberal, and quite far from the more religious communities in Turkey. The country also has a sharp contrast between religious, conservative people and liberal people.
My parents are quite conservative. Within my family, there was often a preoccupation with the clothes I wore and the makeup I was putting on, particularly from my dad. I feel like he learnt this from his parents. I started talking to my dad about these issues and I think he’s changed a lot. Now he's always there for me.
I grew up in the city of Istanbul where I went to an American high school. I loved biology and physics. When it came to choosing a subject to study at university, I wanted to combine the two and so I opted to study bioengineering at Imperial.
Navigating life with illness
Growing up, I had an eating disorder and I struggled with bulimia for five years. During my last year of high school, I was struggling to swallow food. Initially, this was thought to be because of my eating disorder. But after having an endoscopy and several scans, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. My condition does often affect my daily life, but I'm on immunosuppressive medication which helps. I wouldn't say I'm fully in remission, but I'm doing much better.
As well as Crohn’s, I also have ankylosing spondylitis, which is a long-term condition where joints become inflamed. I was diagnosed with the condition after I noticed my hip joint would keep flaring up following a pulled muscle. I have a slight limp on days when I’m having a flare-up, but thanks to my medication, it's mostly gone.
The process of getting diagnosed with these conditions was quite hard for me. I had to spend a lot of time getting MRI scans which I found scary. These experiences helped me realise that bioengineering was the right degree for me, as one day, I would love to improve the user experience of MRIs.
![Woman sitting in a football dug out](./assets/lmqvM5WiwW/ayse-wide-1-2560x1440.jpeg)
![Football boots being laced up with rainbow coloured laces](./assets/a5xYOqdfVN/ayse-wide-2-2560x1440.jpeg)
![Woman with a football standing behind a football goal net looking to one side](./assets/7rKfFVs4zQ/ayse-wide-5-2560x1440.jpeg)
Healing through food and cooking
Every single time I’m asked the question on a form about my ethnicity, I think: "Okay, here we go again!" Turkish people may identify in different ways because they come from different backgrounds. There are people from a predominantly European background, while in the eastern regions of Turkey there are many Armenian or Kurdish neighbourhoods. I feel like the only umbrella term that would do it justice is Middle Eastern.
Everyone in Turkey treats you like a friend. Here in the UK, I can easily make friends with Turkish people. I know all the owners of the local Turkish kebab shops.
Ayşe playing in the snow as a child
Ayşe playing in the snow as a child
I’m proud of my culture. We place a big importance on how you treat your guests and that has really stuck with me. I love having people over and treating them well. Cooking for friends is a way for me to show my love and affection for them. I think that behaviour comes from my parents who always said: "You always have to treat your guests right. You always put them first."
The other big part of my culture that I enjoy is the food. It still fascinates me to this day how diverse the cuisine is in Turkey from its different regions. I recently turned vegan and although I cannot eat most of the traditional food now, I still take pride in it.
Cooking is a passion for me because I tried healing myself through food, as part of recovering from an eating disorder. Last year during COVID, I had a lot more time to be cooking complex dishes. Even if it was just a regular day, I would be making crepes with spinach, mushrooms and bechamel sauce (back when I wasn’t a vegan). Some of my favourite Turkish dishes are zeytinyağlı pırasa which consists of leeks, carrots, rice, orange juice, lemon juice and olive oil. I also really enjoy making ispanak yemeği ve pilav which is a spinach dish with rice.
I really enjoy playing football, and our football club is quite queer, which I absolutely love. I play for the Imperial women’s 2nd team as a centre back. It’s a safe space and no one cares if you’re bi, straight or gay
I came out after I moved to London to study at Imperial. I’ve been empowered to be proud of my sexual identity because of Imperial
Embracing yourself
Ayşe enjoying a family holiday as a child
Ayşe enjoying a family holiday as a child
As well as my Turkish culture, being bisexual is also an important part of my identity. I came out after I moved to London to study at Imperial. I’ve been empowered to be proud of my sexual identity because of Imperial. In Turkey, it was always assumed that I was heterosexual. It was never an option to be anything else. You are an outlier if you're openly gay in Turkey unless you are in a safe community.
When I discovered I was bisexual, I used to blame myself. I would think: "Maybe you're trying to make yourself more interesting?" But it's just something that you are. Coming to London, I saw how sensitive people are and how they embrace different identities and celebrate them. So I thought, if I’m living here, I will embrace myself for who I am.
My brother was the first person I came out to. We were on the beach and I told him: "I might be bisexual." And his response was, "Well, good for you!"
I feel I can be myself in London. I really enjoy playing football, and our football club is quite queer, which I absolutely love. I play for the Imperial women’s 2nd team as a centre back. It’s a safe space and no one cares if you’re bi, straight or gay. They’re such a nice community. We all wear rainbow laces on our football boots.
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This interview was edited by Nikita Rathod, and photographed by Jason Alden. The video interview was filmed and edited by Tom Walker and Martin Sayers.