From Seoul to Kansas

I was born and raised in South Korea, in Seoul. Both brave and naïve, I went to the US alone at 16 as an exchange student to Kansas. There are farms, but apart from that there is nothing. Going from Seoul to somewhere where there’s just lots of tractors was interesting. I spoke little English then, and of course all my high school classes were taught in English, so I had to learn the language quickly. I ended up staying in Kansas to finish high school, and then I went to Iowa to study engineering.  

I started on a pre-dental course – it's common for Asian parents to want their children to become a doctor, or a dentist, or a pharmacist. But I realised that was what my parents wanted, and not what I was interested in. So I switched to mechanical engineering. My parents were not supportive of me pursuing this field as they saw it as a ‘male occupation’ and did not believe that it would be good career path for me.  

There’s not a lot of diversity in the Midwest – I was the one of the very few Asian people in my high school classes. And then my major was male-dominated, and I was the only woman in most of my university classes. I made friends with the other female student in mechanical engineering. I also joined student group where I could network with other female engineering students. Sometimes, in group projects it was assumed that I wasn’t interested in doing certain things because I am a woman. This bothered me and was something I had to correct.  

In Korea I never had to think about my race. I was fitting in just fine – I had no cultural challenges growing up. As soon as I stepped outside Korea, I realised there’s so much that people don’t know about Korea. Everyone in the US assumed I would be very smart and study all the time. But at the same time, Asian women in the US are commonly seen as ‘worker bees’, and are stereotyped as submissive, passive, and quiet. So our potential to be leaders is often overlooked. Imperial is a European institution, and most people grew up experiencing different cultures, but in the Midwest, a lot of people didn’t have that kind of exposure.  

Being who you want to be  

Here in London everyone is from everywhere. You can be pretty much whoever you want to be here, which is great. 

Growing up in Korea I felt the weight of expectations on girls. I was often told how I should behave. I wasn’t encouraged to do mechanical engineering. I wanted to play football, but I had to really convince my parents, who thought it was only for boys. Every time I wanted to do something that they considered not girly enough, they pushed back.  

There are lots of issues in Korea – there are no laws protecting people who are LGBTQ+, and very weak laws protecting women against violence. I feel fortunate that I am able to work and live in the UK where my marriage between me and my partner is recognised, and most of the time I feel safe to share my lesbian identity.

I love my country and I’m proud to be South Korean, but my emotion towards my country is complicated. It is hard to be a woman in South Korea and it is harder to be a queer woman in South Korea. Whenever I go back to see family, I'm excited, but I have to adjust my behaviour so that I don’t face issues. Your happiness, your feeling of safety depends on where you are.